God cleared His throat and read from a prepared text, "This so-called 'reality', which you all inhabit, is nothing more than a well thought out hypothetical situation that, for obvious reasons, was never implemented. The idea of the hypothetical was to ponder the outcome of creating a universe in which beings created in my image were given free will and wicked hearts and placed in a physical environment. As you can see, the situation turns out grimly indeed. The level of suffering and depression caused by such circumstances are such that you can rest assured this universe will never be implemented. Thank you for your patience."

After that, everyone was much less tense. Whenever a car wreck took the lives of innocent people, the survivors were grateful that no such thing actually occurred. The clinically depressed took hope in the fact that no one as terrible as themselves had, in actuality, been born. Those on their deathbeds who looked back and saw nothing but wasted time were comforted that no one really let time slip through their fingers like that. Scientists who created terrible weapons of mass destruction were glad that they didn't really threaten all life on earth. Things were all around better for everyone now that they knew some terrible mistake had been made in the planning of the universe.