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Once more this week I am having trouble getting to sleep. I can’t get to rest no matter how hard I try, and there seems to be one major thing bothering me: time. No, I don’t mean the rush to do work and the exams that are at hand. Don’t get me wrong – these do bother me. But it is more about the time I have left with people. Let me start with saying that at my old school, I mostly associated with people in my grade, but here I am close with my fellow juniors as well as with the seniors here. My major concern is that I am wasting my time with these people, these Govies, that I consider peers and friends. For one thing, if you divide up your time here into four parts, I am just reaching the quarter mark on my time. This period of time has flown by so quickly, and I have enjoyed it thoroughly, but I only have a year and a half left with my classmates. This is a very short time and I hope I can make the most of it. To worsen the state of affairs I was only allotted one school year to get to know my seniors, the class of 2000. This means that I only have until June to enjoy them, to savor my time with them, to know them. This is, sad to say, much too short a period of time. One of the things that may have motivated this feeling of a limited time is that I lost a friend this past summer. William and I had known each other since 4-year-old kindergarten. We had never been too close of friends, but we joked together and had fun together. In 9th grade, after a bad relationship, William began to hang around people that weren’t necessarily a good influence on him. Finally, this past 13th of June, William was involved in a car accident in which he was under the influence of alcohol. This accident claimed William’s life. I remember the last conversation I had with William; he stopped by the Radio Shack where I worked and we talked about five minutes, and finally we said goodbye. Little did I know this was the last goodbye I would say to William. So ended a 12-year-long relationship. It now seems to me that I did not take time enough with him to talk about little things like how he felt on a particular day or his favorite color. So now I try in vain hope to savor my days, which remain in unknown number for me. I still try to savor my time there, even though I know that I can not always do this. I will resolve from now and in this coming New Year to enjoy every minute I can and enjoy the time spent with those people around me. From this moment on let me not hide my feelings toward a person or leave those feelings unsaid, a major problem for me. Let me not be afraid of rejection however much it may hurt. Let me live for this day not the next one. Two messages result from this writing. The first is that we should not live life in the summary of our accomplishments but in the details of the moment. Are we happy? Are we learning to learn or is it some other reason? Is the weather nice? etc. The second is please be back in one piece this January. Jason B Meadows
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