GSSM Purity Test

Are you a TRUE GOVIE? Find out below.

1. Have you been "raped"...
...by a test?
...in the bushes?
...by your roommate?

 

2. Have you taken...
...Billology?
...and passed only by virtue of the curve?
...and you mean that other kind of curve?

 

3. What is the proper nickname for the female Calculus teacher?
Dr. Long
Dr. Mrs. Long
She-long
Schlong


4. You study...
None
1 hour/day
2 hours/day
3 hours/day
4 hours/day
More!
BONUS: Are you a "study nazi"?

 

5. Name the Chemistry Teacher:

"It's a frantic dance... It's a mosh pit."
 Wagner JC
"Let's move on."
 Wagner JC
"Wellllllll..."
 Wagner JC
"Extra points... bonus points... you know, points that are extra?"
 Wagner JC

 

6. How many times a week are you completely random?
1-5
6-10
What's random?
All the freakin'time!

 

7. When you ride the elevator in the science building, how many people are with you?
None
1
2
3
16

 

8. If you take pictures home to be developed, how many do you have to hide from mommy and daddy?
0
1-2
3-5
All of them

 

9. Do you like all booty music at dances?
Of course!
No

 

10. You read Transfinite Joy...
...religiously
...and I read the back issues too
...and I contribute something to most every issue.

 

 

Take a look at your score:

  • 0% to 20%
  • You're a mundane. You came to Governor's School because you want to go to a good college, and you are still only here for that reason. This depresses you and you don't know why. You like strictly pop music, stay in your room all day, wallflower at dances (or you're one of those people in that group that just stands there and never actually dances!), watch football all Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday... can it get any worse? No, it can't.
  • 20% to 40%
  • You aren't completely mundane, but you're looking mighty typical. You have adapted to the GSSM environment, but especially if you're a senior you're way behind. Perhaps you should read TFJ more often, start writing down funny teacher quotes in your notebook, or try to emulate govieness for the learning experience...
  • 40% to 60%
  • Ah, the classic ambivalent Govie. You probably have a love/hate relationship with Mrs. North, but you would feel just fine if you ended up at USC. You alternate between slacking off and bingeing on studying. One would assume that you secretly write FA on the falls because you think it's what you're supposed to do; you may even own some clothing that violates the dress code. Overall, you'll do fine in life... if you aren't proselytized into some odd religion.
  • 60% to 80%
  • You are a pretty average GSSM student, which is to say that you aren't average at all. You're a member of the Bhuvena love cult, or Jones-Cooper's entourage, or both. You have a strong preference for one of the Physics teachers over the other, strong enough that you get in heated arguments over who is better. You also got the Physics teacher that you didn't want, making you all the more bitter. Bitterness is a key emotion, in fact. If you're a junior, you're bitter about your old sucky school where everyone was normal but the people in your drama club. If you're a senior, you're bitter about college. All in all, you've made the transition admirably.
  • 80% to 100%
  • So where the hell did you come from? Were you already abnormal before you came here, or just lucky? After all, you got the Physics teacher you wanted. You're a senior (I can't imagine any juniors scoring this high) and you may have had Bill -- he molded you into what you are. What you are is a lean, mean, studying-machine, eating the Coker food and enjoying it, but only because of Mrs. Mary. Pepto-bismol is the miracle cure, and duct tape is the panacea for all structural instability (unless you're RobComm, in which case the opposite is true). You scromp, you bitch about Admin, you know Govie lore (including the magical power to stop electron flow in lights, the sexual tree, Bhuvena's daily offspring, and the cure for stress... eeeee!), why, you're just the perfect Govie, now aren't you? Now hurry up and go to USC, 'cause you can't afford better and you know you'll end up there anyway... damn it all.

P.S. I only got a 68% on my own test! Sheesh!