What do you do with a bored Govie?
brought to you by Elizabeth Myers, with the cooperation of RobComm, Ltd.

Bored Govies over Christmas break have a problem: there’s nothing to do. Oh, sure, they could just lie down and die of boredom, but most intrepid Govies prefer to do something besides that. They may turn to computer games, reading, or to harassing younger siblings. They may contemplate the possible effects of jumping off a tall building. They may, abandoning all hope of joy and happiness away from Govieland, spend inane amounts of time emailing each other. What do dispossessed Govies talk about? Well, in order to not really help you understand at all the answer to that question, here’s a selection of subjects of emails from one Govie to another. (One Govie’s emails being in bold, and the other’s, well, not being in bold.)


hello (?)
visually-indistinct coleopteran
large green things that smell nice
of hobos and evil pilots
<insert random thought here>
boredom spelled backwards is Mode Rob..
Ooo! Ooo! Cookie trees!
cows as baggage? Maybe I could buy it a ticket..
Aww, no cows for me?
cows are demanding animals; you're better off without one
Ahh! The Weather Channel!
living, breathing history
They might not let you breathe, either
maybe I could steal one of those snow machines..
"Don't feed the Rob"
Wow, two cookies!! I _must_ find that cannon now..
we used to get snacks during long car rides...
"Rob's Woodland Adventures" best-selling book of all creation!
Killer grasshoppers strike again
killer grasshoppers? where?
the cousins were all out of order
what do you do with myrrh anyway?
I dunno, give it away?
manicurist = trained assassin?
How much for a trained assassin these days?
If they attack, I'll try to hold them off with well-aimed M&M's
sticky wrapper deprivation
forced monopoly.. arrghhh
pictoral tutorial?
the downfall of Rob's Slum Empire
It has nothing to do with being female...
I want my form-fitted knife, but it doesn't exist!
just because it makes sense to you doesn't mean it's logical
monopoly <-- look, it's an oxymoron of prefixes
don't lock yourself in an icebox
'military intelligence'.. hee, hee, that one always gets me..
TFJ harasses people for articles, yet again [Ed. note: lies, all lies]
life would be better if Yahoo! had ads like RobComm
Is there such a thing as an impartial Rob?
cameras are naught but knick-knacks
how convienent to always have a box of kleenex close by...
anyway, it'd just be boring ol' ice by the time you got it
I've got it! A cow made out of snow!
the Space Police would imprison the Blacktrons, you see..

-Elizabeth