Act I, obScene I, of King Lear

Actors: Dr. Bill as France, Bhuvana P. as Cordelia, Dr. J-C as Goneril, Rutherford as Regan

France: Um, Cordelia, my watch says 10:00 and when my watch says "10:00" that means it's time for us to go, so get your bags, tell those little girls "bye bye" and let's get our buns in gear.

Cordelia: Well, I am crying now. yes, this is true. And now I must be going. But I know the real deal with you two, and I don't care what the book says. The book is not correct! (takes book from Regan and throws it on the floor) You listen to me now. I have told you what are you. You are very, very bad. Take care of your father. But know this: I would treat him better. I am going now, thank you very much and come again!

Regan: Oh do not tell us what to do, you little weasel.

Goneril: Yes, I don't think so, Miss Cordelia. This isn't Burger King, so we're doing things my way, the right way. You take care of our man now; you been a very bad girl lately, and you getting what you deserve.

Cordelia: We will see, you dirty, dirty girls. Time will tell all, you dirty liars. Well, good luck!

France: Come on honey. I think it's high time we hit the sack... er, I mean road.

(exeunt France and Cordelia)

Goneril: Miss Regan, I think we both know the deal. That man is just crazy.

Regan: Oh yes. That bloody rascal will throw us both out on our bums at the first of the month.

Goneril: True, true. H has always acted a bit on the crazy side. The older he gets, the crazier he gets. And crazier, too! Pretty soon, he'll be like Mr. Floyd.

Regan: He's harder to predict than the limit as squigg;ly approaches zero of squiggly minus squiggly.

Goneril: Mmm Hmm. I don't know what you just said, but I'm sure I have a handout on it. I think we best be moving on. Mr. France is sitll here, though, so let's talk about some ideas I have. Bonus ideas, that is, ideas that are extra. Otherwise, the next thing he does could be the last thing we do, if that makes any sense.

Regan: Well, we can think about it later. It's time for tea now -- and scones -- hurrah!

Goneril: Miss Regan, this is no time for tea. Let's move on.

-nick