FACT OR FICTION?

do do do do--do do do do--do do do do--do do do do (Creepy Twilight Zone music) You are now entering the Govie Zone. Please keep your tables and chairs in their full and upright position. Please keep all arms in legs inside the car at all time. Please observe the no smoking sign. Do not talk to anyone, and whatever you do, do not look anyone directly in the eye. You've been warned.

Welcome to another episode of the Govie Zone. Today's episode is
entitled: FACT or FICTION.

FACT OR FICTION? Everyone observes all rules in the wonderful GSSM handbook.
FICTION: If we did that, what would the use of write-ups be? I mean really, if we throw out that ridiculous 10% rule, and the no thumbtacks, staples, hooks, and pegs in the wall rule, I couldn't even begin to tell you the number coffee pots, hot pots, incense burners...(did I forget to mention the George Foreman grill and the toaster oven?)

FACT OR FICTION? There used to be such thing as a happy hour.
FACT/FICTION: The seniors speak of partaking in this amazing phenomenon, but the juniors just can't be sure.

FACT OR FICTION? The following fourth floor guys: Xia, Lu, Brian, Sam, and Tommy M. have disappeared off the face of the earth and have been replaced with (and I'm trying not to laugh as I type this) X, Sean Archer, Castor Troy, The Picy Chicken Wing, and Ethan Hunt.

FACT: These cave nerds have not been seen since before Colloquium. If you have any information on the whereabouts of these five students, please contact GSSM administration.

FACT OR FICTION? The students at GSSM are the top two percent of the students in South Carolina.
FACT/FICTION: The numbers say we are, but have you looked around lately? I'm just not so sure.

FACT OR FICTION: Once you become a govie, you lose all common sense.
FACT: Assuming you had any to begin with, it's true. Ask any govie to solve a differential equation, and they can do it with their eyes closed, but half of them don't know when to come in out of the rain.

That's all the time we have for today, but remember, write down everything you hear people say. You never know when it might be worth some money. And be careful where you scromp. This campus has eyes. Take it from someone who knows. This has been another episode of The Govie Zone. do do do do--do do do do--do do do do--do do do do (More Creepy Twilight Zone Music)

--redley teal