Double Standards in Admin and Res Life?

Warning: Before reading, make sure you’re in a very sarcastic mood.

Welcome, my little ones, and let me tell you a tell of magic and mischief. But manly about how irony is funny and we’re all getting screwed in our own little ways. First of all, let me tell you all a thing or two about fire. Fire is a very important thing to all mankind. Without fire, we wouldn’t have ever invented some of the greatest things mankind has ever gotten the privilege to posses, like birthday candles and matches. However, you know, fire can also cause harm. Yes, harm! Let me tell you a story about Bobby B. Gentle, a would-be alum from the governor’s school. Once, a long time ago, he woke to an early fire alarm (around 3 AM) apparently caused by some Christmas lights in his suitemate’s room. After quickly throwing on his shoes and socks, he dashed out of his room. While running down the hall, something miraculous happened. He ran right into a trash can! Oddly enough, the trash can, using the momentum he had added to the system, rolled down the remainder of the hallway and into the stairwell. The rolling trash can not only shook Bobby to death, but he ran over many other govies on their way down the stairs, killing 7 and injuring 20 more. This is bs. Also, somehow, while in Wiggins or in Coker dormitories, Christmas lights will never catch fire. This is also funny because somehow those two establishments don’t seem to fall under the "city code" that prevents us from having Christmas lights. Remember, as of August, 1999, all Crhistmas lights in the students’ rooms on the Coker campus in the Tuck A. Coker and Richard G. Coker dormitory at 300 E. College Ave. are now fire hazards.

Story B:

Magical kittens raised solely by res life apparently don’t spread allergies. OK, this stories a lot less interesting, but very to-the-point. The argument concerning pets (besides fish (which can be much more dangerous than allergies anyway (Ever seen an ill-tempered mutated sea bass?))) is that they would spread allergies. Ummm…. knock knock. Who’s there? Double standards.

Anonymous