Ahh, mail! Now I know who truly loves me!

Dear Transvestite Joy :

I am an average junior here. With average problems. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to help me with my problems. They go something like this: when I got here I lost all my lunch money and the coker guys beat me up and I have a negative average in three and one half classes and I cried about it so much one day eating lunch I swallowed my fork and some guy blew up the chem lab and the fumes outside caught fire and 1000 birds were headed for the sky and the dam broke many years too soon and there is no room upon the hill and the band I was in started playing different tunes and some guy wants to see me on the other side of France and the fork got into my blood stream and it got stuck in my left toe and I got the bends and had to spend happy half in a decompresion chamber and the fat guy in the sauna next to me farted and it smelled really bad and I got sick and threw up on the tiny door window in the chamber and I couldn’t see outside and the chamber rocked a bunch and when it stopped I went outside and there were dinosaurs and big hairry things that wanted to eat me and then a steel orca with a big horn came up from the ocean and rammed the chamber and it sank and the nemoy guy took me under and made me eat seaweed (which was an improvement over coker) and water stuff and he went under the north pole and came up in the ampitheatre and threw me up into a tree and before I could get down Derrick saw me and I was shot at dawn the next day. What should I do?

tripp

Dear Transfinite Joy,

I very much enjoy your website, especially the cooking section. Could you please run the recipe for "Monkey Love Butter" again? I have lost it but it sounds delicious! Thanks!

The clever one

Dear Cross,

Why is it that this year, the majority of the major disciplinary infractions have been made by natural helpers? Is it possibly because they were handpicked by Phedrian "No Shonta, you can't go to college for free" Davis who was fired for gross incompetency?

-Naturally Curious

Hey everyone! Hope school is going well. Id love for everyone to drop me a line to tell me how everything is going. I am writing to ask for your assistance in a paper I am writing for my anthropology class. I am writing an ethnography (study of a culture) on the governor's school community. I know we can all agree that govies have their own distinct and isolated culture! I plan to write from a highly untraditional angle. I want to make a compilation of your stories, personal experiences: everything good and bad that ever happened to you while a gssm student that best reflects the culture. I have come up with a few categories to get you brainstorming. Please reply with a stort summary of your story, or something to remind me of something that happened to all of us, under its corresponding heading. If you think of another theme of our culture, please add it for me!! I have included a few examples. But please, I want to hear life at gov school from your point of view. All names will be changed for privacy reasons, and there is no need to worry about being censored. I beg that you tell it just how it is!! Theres no risk of getting in trouble I SWEAR. So praise and bash at your own discresion. Thanks so much for your time guys!!! And if youd like to read the final product, let me know. I can get it to you by the end of the semester. I think it will be a really cool documentary if I can get lots of input from everyone. Just add in under my headings!! Hope to hear from you soon!!!

Suzanne Pickard

I. Pressure to Excel

ex.- specific stories about you trying to get all your work done, the times you did succeed and its rewards, successes with research, lights out, personal benefits of being a govie, plans for grad or how you feel about where you ended up going to college, regrets, working up to the last minute, staying up during exam and AP time, how your friends/roommate helped you through it all, etc.

II. Students vs. Admin

ex.- specific stories about the fire alarms being pulled, the notorious hole in the wall, the secret ceiling passage way, the tracks, alcohol and drugs, sneaking out, rewording of Tuck A. Coker on the front of the res hall, and all other incidents where students were compelled to break the rules, ways which you fought the system, why you did what you did, bonds with the resident life staff or lack there of, your personal feelings about admin (LAY IT ON ME GUYS), etc.

III. Adjusting to GSSM lifestyle

ex.- specific reflections on having to be away from home, losing friends at home, eating coker food, feeling alone, feeling independent, time management, examples of depending on internet email IM to keep friends or loves, losing that feeling of being the smartest ever, losing strong athetic resources, what you think of your teachers and the difficulty of the classes, etc.

IV. Losing/Making New Friends

ex.- specific stories of you first meeting your roommate, problems with roommate, how did you make friends?--ropes study groups icebreakers the benches, what do you do for fun?--sonic movies amplitheater play computer sit on benches, etc.

V. Relationships

ex.- limitations, scromping, couches, one light on rule, adjusting to spending mass amounts of time together, benefits of being at gov school, pda, sneaking over, dark classrooms, hot spots on campus, walk-behinds, spring fever, headaches, fights, what happens after graduation, how do you think gssm has affected your relationships?, etc.

PS--Passed down stories are perfectly okay too

PPS--Feel free to forward this to some juniors if you can! I can use their help too!