Dear Cross,

I keep hearing these weird sounds at night when I’m trying to sleep around 10:30 pm. I don’t understand. Are people really up after 10:30? I mean, QUEST is over, "Happy Half" is gone, what more could people want to stay up for? Maybe it’s just my homesickness playing mind games with me, but I’m pretty sure there’s activity outside my door after room check.

-A confused Junior

Confused Junior,

What the hell is wrong with you!? Do you really stay in your room after 10:30? You must have absolutely no life to sit in your room at the height of hallway rush hour. Of course there are people outside of your door! Did you think that they were elves or something? Get out and get a life. Just because you are here for the rest of your high school career doing accelerated work doesn’t mean that you have to lock yourself up like the damned pentagon! Get out and investigate, you’ll be surprised at what you find.

Dear Cross,

Q: Dominoes or Pizza Hut?

A: Dominoes, it’s cheaper

Q: Why don’t mac mouses have at least two buttons?

A: They do, it just depends if you want the two buttons or one button mouse. You can buy either one. Let me clear up a common misconception. The name of the company is Apple, not Macintosh. Macintosh is the name of one of their first computers which to date, is very outdated. So, when someone says that Macintoshes suck, they are right because Macintoshes are like 10 years old. The newer Apple computers, however, kick ass. Remember that. A work of art.

Q: Happy half…should it be happier or cut in half again.

A: What?! This is a stupid question. I refuse to answer it.