once, long long ago in a land far, far away, a bear was searching through a long endless maze in the Clemson House. a mean evil clemson wizard had come into his den the night before and taken one of his main sources of happiness and meaning. this of course, could only be a cracked toilet seat with some paint on it. sadly, the bear searched through the dark, dank passages untill he stumbled upon an open room. at first it appeared normal. some furnace, a discarded wiskey bottled, an oil can, and a school issued chair of orange plastic. the bear was almost ready to turn back, not seeing his beloved toilet, but then he noticed that underneath the dust on the old orange chair, there were strange inscriptions and pictures. this is a random break which has nothing to do with the story. cautiously approaching the chair, the bear moved aside the dust. the letters on the chair scribbled in black majic marker many years (or weeks) ago were then allowed to stand out in their full glory. the bears eyes lit up and began to hypervenalate as he read over the words : The Super Happy Fun Time Elevator Chair. or something like that. anyway, the bear was happy for a while taking the SHFTEC to it's rightful place, the elvator. earlier experiments using bed frames on elevators had shown good results, but proved to be unhealthy for elevators. however, the elevator was shown to accept the smaller, lighter, more aerodnamic chair with almost no protest. studies were made sending the chair from differnt floors, both attended and unattended. later a roll of frozen toilet paper was added to enhance effects. confusion levels were astounding. people opening elevator doors to discover SHFTEC nd frozen toilet paper were confused up to 38% more than the leading elevator chair. After the bear left, the project was handed over to katnuts. results are still being waited upon. so, if you or anyone you know would like to own the new and improved, pre-sliced, rust proof, easy to cart, ready to handled, super flexed, real time, updated, space age, integrated, Super Happy Fun Time ELevator Chair, don't delay, call today!

Review Questions: 1. What valuable lesson does this teach us about the effects of mustard on uncles?

2. evlauate the similarities and differences between every letter with every other letter of this passage. be sure to adequately support your opinions with details from the story.

-tripp