RobComm, Ltd. Research Division Redefines Physical Universe
Earlier this morning, scientists in the RobComm think tank Mathworkz disproved the famous conservation of energy equation E1 = E2, redefining it as E1 = E2-Q, where Q is a mysterious variable greater than zero. It is postulated that Q is generated by an influx of energies from an undefined number of parallel dimensions. THe shocking new equation has sent tremors through the scientific world, since many traditional physical equations are now totally invalid. RobComm scientists are now pioneering Neophysics, a new branch which will encompass the now trademarked equation, E1 = E2 + Q(tm).
"Neophysics is a great new frontier wihch RobComm scientists will be pursuing for the next few years," said CEO Rob Mitchell at the landmark news conference. "It will be a lot of work, since in Neophysics, our mathematical laws tend to be very unreliable." To prove his point, the beaming CEO went on to demonstrate that 4/6 = 3/2.
RobComm is also setting up new power generators to make use of the extra energy generated by the enigmatic variable Q. The Neophysical reactors have complimented RobComm's extensive hydroelectrics network to provide power to the entire Western Hemisphere at a cheaper rate than any competitor can offer.
Also in the news, the RWU has completely fallen apart, now that its secret funding by rival corporation CoreySoft, Inc has been halted. The RCB's ranks have swollen in comparison, also thanks to the new benefit that allows RCB members to enjoy lower power rates than other consumers. It's also no small part to the third share of stock that has been given to RCB members.
"The RobComm workers combined now have a control of nearly 0.5% of company stock, which allows them to have a small but effective voice in company policy," commented CEO Mitchell. The CEO himself only owns 51% of the company stock. A shocking surprise is that Mitchell owns nearly 10% of the CoreySoft stock.
"Well, it shouldn't be much of a surprise," said a puzzled CEO Mitchell, when asked about his situation. "They were my biggest rival, and now that they're going under, I'd like to buy them out if I can."