RobComm makes new acquisitions; LUAA
makes statement
Lee’s
Union of Apathetic Agrarianites (LUAA: phonetically, LUU-AHH) in
conjunction with Cruel Semantic Women (CSW ce-ss-wwwwuuuuu) has
issued a statement condemning the excessive, deplorable use of indefinite
articles in recent statements from CoreySoft or whatever it is;
members plan to sit in their fields and think the occasional cruel
thought.
Also
in the news, the monolithic corporation of RobComm, Ltd. has recently
made some new acquisitions. Somewhat disturbed at the recent purchase of
The English Language by CoreySoft, CEO Rob Mitchell has now bought
control of Accent™, Dialect™, Dialogue™, Symbol™, Spoken Thought™,
Written Thought™, and Alphabet™.
“In other words,” beamed the CEO during the announcement,
“CEO Garriott may own the actual language, but if anyone actually
uses it then they owe RobComm.” Mitchell went on to declare a pardon from fees to anyone who is
a member of the RobComm Citizens’ Brigade.
This
was not a day for celebrations, however. A fatal mistargeting by the RobComm Lunar Corp’s
mass drivers accidentally sent five hundred metric tons of raw ore
straight through the hull of the recently completed CoreySoft orbital
platform North Corea. All
thirty million people on board were killed, as well as the entire
CoreySoft executive staff, which was taking a tour at the time.
“A very sad mistake,” commented CEO Mitchell after the destruction
of the space station. “CEO
Garriott should have commissioned thrusters on the station in case
of such a scenario. I’ve had many compliments on the resulting
light show, however.” The
explosion reportedly lasted many hours and was observed by astronomy
enthusiasts worldwide.
The
nations of the world apparently think along the same lines as CEO
Mitchell. Immediately after
the explosion, an emergency conference of the UN declared CoreySoft
to be in violation of human rights by not creating a means of movement
for a space platform that held the entire population of Former Chile. The space station was a major undertaking for
CoreySoft, into which it had sunk nearly a third of its resources
(mainly into purchasing ore from Mitchell Crater).
Now facing legal fees from over a hundred court cases, CoreySoft
investors are becoming increasingly shaky.
RobComm has bought nearly a 30% stake in English™ already,
as well as several other CoreySoft subsidiaries.
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