RobComm Dispatch Service

September 20, 2000

The recent landmark cases against RobComm, Ltd. and its subsidiary companies were dismissed today after the FTC was disbanded by a bill passed unanimously through the congress.  Much applause was heard throughout Capital Hill as the president himself arrived to sign the bill into law directly after the final vote.

“This is a great day for the nation,” the president commented, “I’m going to go ride around in my new yacht now.”

CEO and founder Rob Mitchell was interviewed by this reporter soon after the bill was passed.

“Yes, this is indeed a great day for our country and Justice,” he said between mouthfuls of a Rob Mac.  “Our spiteful competitors at CoreySoft are a pack of fools.  In fact, I introuduced… er, one of the Senators introduced a bill today that would declare any company starting with the letter ‘C’ to be unconstitutional.  I imagine it will be passed without much conflict.”

Indeed, CoreySoft seems to face mounting public opposition with their choice of an inane cereal box cartoon as its main news reporter.  “I mean, come on,” said CEO Mitchell, banging his fist down on his platinum-inlaid table.  “Who in their right mind would listen to a crappy piece of artwork that used to advertise for Fruit Loops?  Colored Rob-Loops are better anyway.  Go buy a few boxes and stop bugging me.”

As a side note, the case against RobComm put forth by former client Vince Ingram has been dismissed as well.  RobComm, also specializing in assassination orders, had been given an offer for Vince’s death.

“We were only doing business,” said the Mitchell.  “The customer is always right, isn’t he?”

next-->