Computer enthusiasts, university professors, economic commentators and other smart, creative types were on edge yesterday when the news struck Wall Street: CoreySoft Inc. has introduced its latest line of products, “The Fun-o-Matic series.”  Oh, and RobComm CEO Rob Mitchell is also reported to have suffered a near-fatal hit from a yet unknown driver.

“His recent jump-start into a political career seems to have been straight off a cliff,” CoreySoft CEO Corey Garriott commented in one of his frequent wry moments.

Sadly, with his recent disappearance from the senate floor, Mitchell’s legislation to outlaw various companies has been amended, re-amended, changed, vetoed and finally passed looking nothing like the original.  H.R. 371, the bill which was to outlaw CoreySoft operations, now outlaws any business starting with the letter ‘Q’ on days which end in ‘Z’ if the autumnal equinox occurs on a blue moon.

“That’s not to say that I’m not sympathetic to Mitchell (may God bless his soul),” Garriott continued, “but gee, what a poor time for a hit-and-run driver to smash into the poor guy.  You’d almost think it was planned.  By the way, I have recently purchased stock in RobComm’s subsidiary Kill-Co.”

It is ironic that this comment comes on the night of Vince Ingram’s failed lawsuit against Kill-Co.  Had Vince succeeded, Kill-Co, which employs such means as structural failure and drive-by manslaughter in the assassination business, might now be in the courts.  Many a CEO’s maiming might have been prevented had the rogue company Kill-Co been finally taken down.

To Mitchell’s further dismay (or at least he would be were he conscious), with the recent disbanding of the FTC, CoreySoft may enter a new productive age from the lessened taxes and regulation says economist Milton Friedman.  “RobComm just laid off an army of accountants that previously worked just to keep above the forms and red tape, but CoreySoft never reached that kind of bureaucratic height, preferring to remain smaller,” he stated in his latest current analysis.

In finance, the tech sector has hit new highs today with new that the RobComm monopoly may finally be breaking up without the use of antitrust legislation.

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