RobComm Ltd. CEO accepts Chilean presidency

Trumpets blared and crowds cheered at CEO Rob Mitchell, the famous founder of RobComm Ltd. Ascended to the Chilean presidency earlier this evening.  Although looking slightly worse for the wear after his recent brush with death, CEO Mitchell acted calm and collected as he placed the Presidential Crown on his head and gave an acceptance speech.

“No more will the constraints of United States economic law infringe upon RobComm’s manifest destiny!  Down with the pigs at CoreySoft!  Eat more Rob-eo’s Cream Cookies!”  The crowds obliged, sending the stock of Rob Food, Inc soaring.

The Andes mountain range in Chile was soon unveiled as the largest strip mine network ever created, as RobComm, Ltd. Manufacturing facilities began to put their roots down in the South American country.  Also today, Chilean ambassadors made east towards China, to open new trade routes and conduct business with high-level Chinese dignitaries.  When asked to comment, President Mitchell only responded:

“China has invaluable resources that are currently needed by RobComm Ltd.’s R&D division.  Hopefully my diplomats can work out some sort of a deal.”

Meanwhile, back in the ‘States, high level debates about the future of RobComm came to a close with the passing of a bill that instates a body to replace the FTC.  Called the Rob Trade Commission, the new commission will fulfill the duties of the former FTC.  However, CEO Mitchell has been named the honorary chair of the RTC, with full veto powers.

“In other words, my say is the final say.  Pretty neat, huh?  The feds are awfully nice guys,” Mitchell commented.  Soon after the notice was made public, rival CoreySoft attempted a protest, which succeeded for nearly a minute until United States F/A-18s bombed the protesters with 20-kiloton Rob-omb Riot Control Explosives.

Also in the news today, the house of renowned economist Milton Friedman was destroyed in a small nuclear blast.  His body has not yet been recovered.  Authorities are still speculating on the perpetrator, although evidence has lead police to CEO Corey Garriott, president of CoreySoft, through key witness Phillip Lane.  Mr. Lane noticed CEO Garriott lurking around the house with a small bag or uranium a few days before the blast.

“There’s no doubt about it.  That was the CEO with the bag of U-232.  I saw him myself,” stated Lane, through his RobComm Lawyer.  When asked to comment on the tragedy, CEO and President Rob Mitchell’s normally sarcastic and cynical attitude turned serious.

“This is a grave day for economists everywhere.  I can only express my deepest wish that Justice be served swiftly and efficiently in the matter.  Oh, and go buy some RobWheelz toy cars.  Robtoyz Enterprises’ stock still hasn’t reached the projected high.”  Mitchell has petitioned that the case be sent to the Chilean high court for prosecution.

next-->