New New Yorker

No wonder there are a thousand Barnes and Nobles and they are packed all the time. What do you do on your 30 minutes commute? Honk your horn… no way! You sit in the subway and read. Preferably listening to your iPod if you’re hip. Which leads me to my next point.

As per above: Everyone is hip in New York, so they all have iPods. I don’t mean obvious hipness. But I mean, you just have to be hip…. right? They are also a great tool for ignoring people. Oh! Let’s go on to that now.

Only a few months ago I moved to the Big Fucking Apple. Why do I throw in the expletive? To explain it better. The point here is rather simple. I want to quickly describe some of my experiences in New York. Things that I would have been very interested to know before I got here. Maybe you guys won’t care, but at least Carl will read it. I mean カール.

1. You walk a lot.

I never really thought about it, but you walk a lot in New York. When I was living in the Lower East Side, the closest subway was 5 blocks away. And while they are a very efficient way of traveling, they don’t get you all that close to your destination most of the time. But the walks are completely tolerable, because in those 5 blocks, I see so many interesting things that just make my life more interesting.

1. You read a lot.

No wonder there are a thousand Barnes and Nobles and they are packed all the time. What do you do on your 30 minutes commute? Honk your horn…. no way! You sit in the subway and read. Preferably listening to your iPod if you’re hip. Which leads me to my next point.

1. Everyone has an iPod.

As per above; Everyone is hip in New York, so they all have iPods. I don’t mean obvious hipness. But I mean, you just have to be hip…. right? They are also a great tool for ignoring people. Oh! Lets go on to that now.

1. The Art of Ignore.

With so many people around you, you just have to ignore people. Its not as bad as people make it. If I see someone lost, I help them out, etc. But in general, I just walk or sit and ignore. Its rather pleasant. But that is how New York is lonely.

1. We’re not mean, just busy.
   So, its your first time in New York and you want to obey traffic laws. So you wait for the little walk icon. Well, I’m late for work and I have 5 more blocks to walk and you’re standing still in front of me. Its like someone driving 30 miles an hour down a highway. I bet you’d be pretty pissy with them.
2. It’s OK to be gay.
   It’s amazing. I wish most of America was like this. No one gives a fuck. I could wear leather chaps out and people don’t care. I mean, not that I am like that. But the freedom is amazing. For everyone.
3. We’re less afraid (and less racist).
   White people walk alone in the ghetto. All the time. Because 99% of the fear of the rest of white America about the ghetto is sooooo over hyped. Just don’t step on anyones shoes or give them nasty looks. That’s not a good idea. But from the way I was raised, I figured that if I stepped foot in Harlem, then my ass would be grass. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am more calm in Harlem than Times Square! (See section 5)

OK, more to come.

Only a few months ago I moved to the Big Fucking Apple. Why do I throw in the expletive? To EXPLEIN it better. The point here is rather simple. I want to quickly describe some of my experiences in New York. Things that I would have been very interested to know before I got here. Maybe you guys won’t care, but at least Carl will read it. I mean カルウ.

1) You walk a lot. I never really thought about it, but you walk a lot in New York. When I was living in the Lower East Side, the closest subway was 5 blocks away. And while they are a very efficient way of travelling, they don’t get you all that close to your destination most of the time. But the walks are completely tolerable, because in those 5 blocks, I see so many interesting things that just make my life more interesting.

2) You read a lot. No wonder there are a thousand Barnes and Nobles and they are packed all the time. What do you do on your 30 minutes commute? Honk your horn…. no way! You sit in the subway and read. Preferably listening to your iPod if you’re hip. Which leads me to my next point.

3) Everyone has an IPod. As per above; Everyone is hip in New York, so they all have iPods. I don’t mean obvious hipness. But I mean, you just have to be hip…. right? They are also a great tool for ignoring people. Oh! Lets go on to that now.

4) The Art of Ignore. With so many people around you, you just have to ignore people. Its not as bad as people make it. If I see someone lost, I help them out, etc. But in general, I just walk or sit and ignore. Its rather pleasant. But that is how New York is lonely.

5) We’re not mean, just busy. So, its your first time in New York and you want to obey traffic laws. So you wait for the little walk icon. Well, I’m late for work and I have 5 more blocks to walk and you’re standing still in front of me. Its like someone driving 30 miles an hour down a highway. I bet you’d be pretty pissy with them.

6) Its ok to be gay Its amazing. I wish most of America was like this. No one gives a fuck. I could wear leather chaps out and people don’t care. I mean, not that I am like that. But the freedom is amazing. For everyone.

7) We’re less afraid. (and less racist) White people walk alone in the ghetto. All the time. Because 99% of the fear of the rest of white america about the ghetto is sooooo over hyped. Just don’t step on anyones shoes or give them nasty looks. That’s not a good idea. But from the way I was raised, I figured that if I stepped foot in harlem, then my ass would be grass. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am more calm in harlem than times square! (See section 5)

Ok, more to come.

-hampton.